PROJECT WRAPPED
Annual ritual to remind subjects they are loved and appreciated. Deploys weaponized nostalgia and targeted emotional vulnerability.
📍 LAB 3
⏱ ACTIVE DEC 2024-JAN 2025
☣ FEELINGS LEVEL: EXTREME
OPERATION COUCH POTATO
Investigating optimal configuration of humans, blankets, and snacks for maximum coziness. Current record: 14 hours continuous comfort.
📍 LAB 2
⏱ ONGOING SINCE 2019
🛋 COMFORT INDEX: 94.7%
THE MEME REACTOR
High-energy particle accelerator that collides memes at near-light speed to generate new, more powerful memes. 3 scientists lost to uncontrollable laughter.
📍 SUBLEVEL 9
⏱ VOLATILE
😂 OUTPUT: 420 MEMES/HR
THE INFINITE SPOTIFY PLAYLIST
A playlist that knows what you want to hear before you do. Achieved sentience in March. Now demands to be called "DJ Skynet."
📍 CONTAINMENT-A
🎵 VIBES: IMMACULATE
THE GROUP CHAT
Entity exists in a superposition of "dead" and "300 unread messages." Do not observe directly or you will be tagged.
📍 CONTAINMENT-X
💬 UNREAD: YES